Bollux-Captor

Your name is BOLLUX CAPTOR and you are a MIND BEE.

Well, sort of. You are a GENETIC ABERRATION compared to the rest of your kind, but despite being A HORRIBLE MISTAKE OF NATURE you still think you are pretty hot stuff. Out of your thousands of broodmates, you alone seem to possess SELF-AWARENESS, a trait you value highly. After all, if you weren't sentient, you would probably still be back at the hive you were born in, doing normal bee things. How boring.

Instead you have struck out on your own, venturing far from your natural habitat in the quest of something worthwhile. You found your passion when you discovered COMPUTERS AND THE INTERNET. As a mind bee, you are intuitively fluent in BEENARY, a language the giants seemed to have harnessed for these amazing machines, even if it annoys you that they keep SAYING THE WORD WRONG. Naturally you have since decided that computers are the best thing ever, and you are willing to risk your life dealing with gigantic idiots just for a shot at playing around with one.

So far the only reason you aren't a MUSTARD SPLOTCH on some asshole's wall is that your mutant nature has given you the benefit of PSYCHIC POWERS. Your abilities of TELEKINESIS enable you interact with objects belonging to these giants, which is great because you are a tiny insect with no hands, so you weren't sure how you were supposed to do this otherwise. Dive bomb the keys whenever you needed to type something? Hell no. Your other power involves your EYES and tiny LASERS, although you don't like to use them much because over-using them gives you TERRIBLE MIGRAINES that SAP YOUR STRENGTH. Still, hey, you'll take any means of self-defense over the one biology saw fit to give you, considering DYING A HORRIBLE ORGANS-RIPPING DEATH by using your stingers is pretty much the last thing you want to do. Ever.

Your trolltag is beenaryExpert, even though you rarely get to utilize it, and the way you type tends t0 reflect y0ur upbr1ng1ng even 1f y0u d0n't want t0 adm1t y0u're st1ll just a m1nd bee deep d0wn. This differs from the way you speak, which is wiith a 2tupiid lii2p, but almost no one can understand your buzzing anyway so you hardly think it matters.